Here comes this bride...

I knew I wanted to marry you even then.

Weddings are stressful.

Don't tell Vera Wang or Martha Stewart that because both of those ladies work very hard to sell you a lot of things to convince you otherwise and they seem pretty cool and I don't want them to go out of business. But yes, weddings are stressful.
They are stressful for a lot of reasons, some of which are magnified if you travel for work and find yourself completely disconnected from your normal life for a week or more at a time and stuck in a tiny airport in North Carolina that has no restaurants and you are trying to buy bulk tissue paper from amazon.com.

The other thing that makes this wedding hard for me is I have a bad relationship with money ( which a wedding requires) and I have an even harder time asking for help.
My life is like this; I need help to do something and instead of asking for it I get stressed, over-worked and miserable but then when people say, "Let me know if you need any help!" I'm like, "Oh no, thanks though." WHHAAATTT!???

When Daniel asked me to marry him, he made me the happiest girl in the world and I said yes and grabbed the ring and put it on my finger before he had time to do it for me. (Apparently that is something the guy "should" do)
But then I just wanted to elope, cause the only thing I cared about was the being married part. The waking up every morning beside the same person and making breakfast and hanging out and watching SNL clips on HULU in your sweatpants and being together forever and ever.

Life is not like that though. Because when you marry someone, you are marrying them, their family, their friends, their traditions. The whole shebang.
And for us, the whole shebang includes 2 wedding ceremonies ( yes, I know 2) and a whole lot of food and dancing and decorations and invitations and tablecloth rentals and all that other stupid stuff that the wedding industry pushes at you.

So instead of buying into all that baloney, I'm officially over the stress, and I am ready to see my family that is flying all the way from Toronto to be with us, and every other family member and friend that will make it out to see us say I do. We will say yes, I promise to be with you forever and kiss you when your breath stinks and hold your hand when you need to cry.

Does that sound like a deal? OK great that's what I thought

Twenty Eleven

Hooray!! It's 2011.
You know what that means?? It means I am getting married y'all!

Planning a wedding on a low budget can be, in a word, stressful, but with the big day six months away it is really starting to hit me and there is still a lot to do.

I am looking forward to the BEING MARRIED part the most.

I mean, sure, I want to wear my dress and say our vows and eat and dance and see everyone, but no matter what decorations or flowers or food we have, buy or serve on that day...by the end of it I will be Mrs. Or ( yes I am changing my name) and then we get to be married and live the rest of our lives together!

With that said, here are some amazing engagement pictures we took a while ago. Daniel's best friend Andrew took them and every time I see them I still can't believe how lucky I am and what a talented group of friends we have!

Happy New Year all of you lovely folks who read my blog.

I wish you nothing but the best in this brand spankin' new year.

Holiday 2010 Recap

Hello lovelies!

How was your Christmas?? Mine was awesome.

I thought I would post a few pics from my NEW CAMERA!! Yep, I know you are jealous. But my sweetie got it for me and I have been on a picture taking rampage ever since. You can only take pics with your iPhone for so long :(

Anywho...the best part of the season for me is giving gifts and seeing the reaction on the faces of those I love.

Here are some of those reactions from young to younger!

YOUNG

My sweet Daddy opening his gift from Daniel and I, The West Wing on DVD. The entire series!

He loves Aaron Sorkin and politics and has been asking for this gift for ,oh, maybe five years.

His face says it all.

YOUNGER

Sam wants everything Star Wars and so we gifted accordingly. He got a wall clock with Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker on it and a huge book containing all the information about Star Wars that anyone could ever want to know. Needless to say, he was pleased with this gift!

Here is my super cute Momma showing us her new sweater Uggs. Comfy cozy!

I got Daniel new TOMS, cologne and aftershave and the TRON soundtrack. I think his smile says it all.

My soon to be nieces Lauren with her Toy Story Memory game and Asia with her V-Reader. Lauren also got a bike and they got pillow pets from yours truly. I tried to post a video of their brother but I need to figure out this formatting first! Their sweet Mommy was sick so I did the nice sister-in-law to be thing and didn't take photos. Next time Hosanna!

Me, my noodle Rachel and Li!

How cute is my Mom!

Thanks again to everyone who gave me a gift, hug, kiss, plate of food or sweet treat!

Now, let's finish this year up cause I am itching to start 2011!

A change is gonna come...

I miss blogging. And even though I am not Lo Ash in El Salvador anymore, I still like that this represents that time in my life.

This next year is going to be big. A lot of change, a lot of transition and I am excited but also anxious.

Part of that change will be here on the blog and part of that will happen in my personal life.

Stay tuned...Christmas is in 2 days and then, I'll be back to writing and sharing.

Until then, enjoy the day of our Savior's birth!

Testing, testing

Do you ever feel like you are being tested?
A situation arises and you have this overwhelming feeling that someone somewhere is sitting behind a curtain filming your response. I think I've seen too much candid camera or something because that is the first thing I think of.
And all I know is that I am not going to be the lady who freaks out or starts yelling or crying or anything like that. I choose to be joyful and I choose to remind myself of the truth. Cause the reason we get trapped in life and in those candid camera shows is that for a split second we start to believe a lie.
The truth hurts sometimes, but it doesn't leave a mark.

First things first.

Some things, like running and reading your bible, require you to prioritize them in order to fit them in to your day. Both things keep you healthy and start your day right but if you skip both and get in the habit of skipping both, fitting them in again is a challenge.
I was reminded again today how life is really about each persons journey. I saw a man jogging on the trail in front of me that was obese. Some people have a few extra pounds on them, but this man was obese. And instead of slipping into the usual, judgmental self, I started thinking about his journey. How did he get here? What is his plan? Where is he going?
I've never met him and I probably never will but in that moment I was proud of him. I was proud that he was working towards something other than where he was yesterday. And that is what it is about, really. It's about taking every day and making that day count. Sometimes I feel like I survived a week, but I want to get away from that. I want to thrive.
I can stress about money and not having money til I'm blue in the face but I am so rich. And really, who cares about all the trappings that come with money? The older I get the more I realized that I really don't care about that stuff. And learning to live with less is one of life's greatest lessons.

A piece of peace

True peace only comes from God, and maybe that is what this is all about, giving in to the fact that He has control and I don't and that is perfect.
But I have never really felt this, I guess, settled?
I am a chronic stress case. Nothing is ever enough, or good, or how I think it should be. I am always thinking ahead and worrying about what will happen 6 months from now.
And yet, for the first time in probably my whole life I feel content. I see my life and where it is now and it is good. Not because everything is figured out and I have all the money that I need or anything like that, but because it is just a simple life. I don't have the tragedy that so many deal with, and I think that is starting to sink in and I can just BE. I can be someone who is loved by God and that makes my life enough.
Well, that and red velvet cupcakes from Brite Spot!